The Secret of Silence: 14 Secrets of Influential Leaders

Want to be a more compelling leader? Stop talking so much. Silence is one of the most underrated leadership tools, allowing space for deeper thought, better responses, and more influence. In this episode, we explore why great leaders know when to stay quiet, how silence enhances decision-making, and why pausing before responding gives you the upper hand.

• Transcript

  If you’ve ever walked into a meeting and felt the need to fill every silence with words, you might be missing a huge opportunity. Silence, when used strategically, is an incredibly powerful leadership tool.

  In my early leadership journey, I assumed influence came from having the right answers and speaking confidently. If I’m honest, that belief still lingers. We watch sitcoms where people deliver the perfect comeback at the right time, and we think we must do the same to be influential.

  But over time, I learned a hard lesson—people don’t always listen to the loudest voice; they listen to the most intentional one.

  So, let’s ask a deeper question: why do we talk so much? Often, it’s because we lack confidence. We feel like frauds, we get nervous, and our internal beliefs tell us that talking more will increase our value.

  I don’t know what stories are undermining your confidence, but for me, it has been my leadership journey in churches. Churches are not always highly regarded in business, and for a long time, I let that diminish my confidence. However, I’ve come to realize that leading hundreds of volunteers and staff through purpose and motivation—rather than a paycheck—is exactly why I bring so much to the business world of leadership.

  A study from Harvard Business Review found that leaders who pause before responding are perceived as more competent and thoughtful. Silence makes room for deeper insights, reducing knee-jerk reactions that might harm relationships or decision-making.

  Consider this: when was the last time you left space in a conversation for someone else to fill? What internal stories do you need to revise in order to create greater self-confidence? Leaders who master strategic silence create an environment where others feel valued, allowing better ideas to emerge.

  Two takeaways today:

  Do some self-exploration. What are the underlying confidence crushers affecting you? Without understand this, it is incredibly difficult to master the art of silence.

  Once you have put in that work: Next time you’re about to answer immediately, pause. Count to three in your head. Give others the space to speak first. You might be surprised how much more influence you gain by saying less.