Have you looked in the mirror and complemented your big bum lately?

I find myself looking in the mirror and telling myself that my bum is too big all the time.  Ah, actually I don’t say that!  But, self-talk is a serious challenge for all of us.  I may not talk to myself in front of the mirror, but there have been many times when I have told myself that I am not good enough, that I am not strong enough.  And I have regularly listened to that voice of fear or those thoughts that I don’t measure up. #LeadershipDevelopment #Coaching #Training #WorkingGenius

• Transcript

  I find myself looking in the mirror and telling myself that my bum is too big all the time!

  Actually that is probably not one of the thoughts I have towards myself. But, self-talk is a challenge for all of us at times. I may not talk to myself in front of the mirror, but there have been many times when I have told myself that I am not good enough. We convince ourselves that we don’t deserve to lead. Have you listened to that voice of fear or those thoughts that you don’t measure up?

  To lead others effectively, we must believe in ourselves. We need to understand who we are accurately and have the courage to move forward, especially when everyone else is waiting for someone to take the first step. Leadership, by definition, involves being the first to act, and this requires stepping out of our comfort zones. This courage comes from a healthy self-understanding, which is undermined by negative or inaccurate self-talk.

  Consider this example: Many people often say they are terrible with names. Have you ever said that? Some time ago, I decided to stop making such statements. Recognising how valued people feel when their names are remembered, I began telling myself that I am good with names. The result? I now frequently receive compliments on my ability to remember names.

  Here are a few strategies to help you transform your self-talk:

  1. **Seek Positive Reinforcement:** Invite a close, trusted friend for coffee and explain this exercise to them. Ask for their honest but positive feedback on the areas where you struggle. Write down their affirmations and keep this list handy. Refer to it whenever your self-talk turns negative.

  2. **Find Affirmation in Faith:** If you have a faith, look for affirming thoughts in your religious texts. The Bible, for instance, is full of positive messages: "Be bold," "Fear not," "Be strong and courageous," "Be anxious for nothing," and "Let the joy of the Lord be your strength."

  3. **Continue Your Self-Awareness Journey:** The better you understand yourself, including both strengths and weaknesses, the less likely negative self-talk can distort your perspective. Respecting your abilities and limitations helps keep self-talk realistic and positive.

  4. **Practice ‘Mirror-Talk’:** Although it might sound humorous at first, there is substantial research supporting the effectiveness of positive affirmations spoken aloud to oneself in the mirror. Say things like, "I'm great at sales!" or “I am confident!" or "I am making a valuable contribution at work!"

  I encourage you to start being positive in your self-talk today. Try these methods and observe the difference it makes!