Your Words Create Worlds!
Do you remember that teacher who embarrassed you in front of the class? ‘You’re terrible at English!’ Or [Insert the comment you received here]. Very few people openly discuss this when I am presenting but the reality is that words spoken to us throughout our lives have either empowered and encouraged us, or they have shaped and scarred us in ways we don’t wish to admit. Leaders, our words create worlds!
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Your words create worlds. Carey Nieuwhof, renowned podcaster says, ‘Leaders, your words create worlds’.
Nieuwhof has written an excellent article relating to the words spoken by Donald Trump and the ensuing assault on Captial Hill by his followers, and I whole-heartedly agree with this thought. Trump might believe that his words did nothing, however I wholeheartedly agree that the incident on Capital Hill could have been avoided if Trump had spoken differently that day. Leaders, your words create worlds.
As leaders it is important to recognise how powerful our words are, whether we like it or not. Our words can build people up and tear them down. Our words can decimate our marriages or bring healing to the conflict. Our words will cause our teams to build culture, or squash our team members.
Milgram’s famous experiment is a fascinating study that sought to understand why the German army so readily followed orders for genocide during World War 2. The study sought volunteers who were paired up. One person would be hooked up to electrodes and the other volunteer was told to electrocute the subject each time they answered a question incorrectly. They had 30 shock buttons in front of them and each time a question was answered incorrectly they moved across the scale. The scale started at 15v and ended at 450v. They were taught that levels of electricity above 300v were harmful for humans. If the electrocuter ever questioned whether they should continue the leader of the experiment would encourage them to continue. Many persons doing the electrocuting reached 300v and an unbelievable 65% reached the full 450v.
The end point of the experiment: Ordinary people are likely to follow orders given by an authority figure, even to the extent of killing or harming an innocent human being. Obedience to authority is ingrained in us all from the way we are brought up.
As much as words can be destructive they can also be life-giving. I remember struggling through a difficult time in life and a class mate in my MBA and well-respected leader in his field, took me under his wing. He encouraged me and helped me to find my strengths and to put them into practise. The words of this mentor and friend helped me to start to believe in myself and grow to be the person I am today.
Your words matter. Here are three things you cam implement today.
Firstly, If you are struggling with some difficult people at the moment we can learn from Abraham Lincoln who decided throughout his career to regularly write ‘hot letters’. These were letters to people who had angered him. However he never sent them. It was an opportunity to get the frustration out without cutting someone else down. This helped Lincoln to measure which words were appropriate and which ones weren’t.
Secondly, when you are feeling conflict arising, ask questions. Most conflicts and difficulty are the result of lack of relationship. If you’re struggling with someone, take them for a coffee and aim to listen more than you talk. Find out about their story, find out about what is happening in their families or in their homes. You might find yourself with fresh perspective, and opportunity to resolve the issues in an increasingly productive way.
Thirdly, be intentional about using words to build others up. Think through difficult conversations before you have them, so that you can use them to move people forward rather than to keep them in difficulty. Take the time to find good in others and communicate it. A simple compliment can go a long way.
I believe that good leadership builds community. Good leadership seeks to restore, to create harmony, unity, vision, purpose and joy. Let us be leaders who bring empowering words to those around us today.